Alright. I’m throwin’ down my cane and shaking my fist. Listen up, whippersnappers: This question of whether The Modern Lovers’ “Roadrunner” should be the official Massachusetts rock song as opposed to Aerosmith’s “Dream On” is no question at all — of course it should!
Competing bills for the honor came before a Legislative committee last week with “Dream On” sponsor Rep. James Cantwell touting it as emblematic of Aerosmith’s inspirational “rags-to-riches” rise. Meanwhile, the bill sponsored by Boston mayor-elect, state Rep. Marty Walsh (endorsed by the Dropkick Murphys in his recent election, yo) lets Johathan Richman’s head-banger speak for itself. He is not only of Massachusetts, but so is the song itself.
It’s strength is not only its mention of cruising the power lines out by Route 128 or to the Stop n’ Shop, it’s the notion of bustin’ loose that is the very foundation of rock music. It’s reckless abandon, speed, spittle and every other secretion you can think of. It’s blistering guitars and maybe wrecking your car. Rags to riches? For chrissake, just gimme some gas money!
Look, I’m not even native to this state, okay? But I’m tellin’ ya’, if you want to hold your head up anywhere you go, “Roadrunner” is an excellent piece of work. I was living in Maine, reviewing rock records and griping about Massholes like everyone else when “Roadrunner” shredded the region’s airwaves. You don’t have to know those locations — you just get it because you’re alive.
Adopt “Roadrunner” and you’ve got yourself something on the national playing field. You can stare down someone from away and say, “Check it out, man.” It’s not like trying to boost football creds when all you can offer is Boston College and a millionaire’s smart investment in Foxboro. Here, you can boast real roots on the national landscape.
Oklahoma adopted "Do You Realize" from 2002 by the Flaming Lips after popular balloting drew 21,000 voters in 2009 (amazingly with nothing by Leon Russell among a choice of 10).
Lake Superior agate is Minnesota’s official gem, but my vote would be for 1963’s “Surfin’ Bird” by the Trashmen, immortalized in the Minnesota State Museum’s “Garage Bands of Minnesota” exhibit (in the same room housing a display on the a state Catholic parish’s Polka Mass).
Lawmakers in my native Ohio picked “Hang on Sloopy,” popularized in 1965 by the one-hit McCoys. I would have favored “Little Bit O’ Soul,” a 1967 classic by the one-hit Music Explosion, or almost anything by Devo.
But you see, it’s popping hormones and unbridled brain cells, that’s what rock has always been about. And throw in some revolution. Since when was it about doing what your parents told you?
Who the hell looks back on how great it was to fantasize about “rags-to-riches” success? Even pot-bellies who once juiced it to Aerosmith are more likely to inflate their “Big Ten Inch” glories in their own, uuh, minds. Who got sloppy or silly over “Dream On”? Who felt they were ready to charge out there and take on the world after that? Dream on!
Most people would agree there is legislative precedent in Massachusetts for making bad decisions, so “Dream On” is a distinct and embarrassing possibility. It is a rock song of sorts. It does have a discernible drumkit.
But if some hair-band drivel is going to beat out an entry as bold and emblematic as “Roadrunner,” they might also vote to designate the state “The Cradle of the Counter-revolution” and lead Boston tourists on a walk through the Slave to Fashion Trail. Because there won’t be any celebration of freedom in this state’s rock song.
